


Chasing Itachi

by caidanu (Zanya)



Category: Naruto
Genre: Crack Fic, Exhibitionism, Explicit Language, Humor, M/M, Modern AU, OOC, Oral Sex, Voyeurism
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-27
Updated: 2015-08-27
Packaged: 2018-04-17 12:36:51
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,193
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4666761
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Zanya/pseuds/caidanu
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>repost from 2012, pure crack and not meant to be taken seriously. </p><p>summary: Naruto takes Sai out for some drinks. Everything goes smoothly until Itachi shows up. Hilarity ensues.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Chasing Itachi

**Author's Note:**

  * For [HallowsEve](https://archiveofourown.org/users/HallowsEve/gifts).



Three men walked into the bar, slowly making their way through the crowded room, looking like something out of a model magazine’s wet dream. People stopped to look when the men passed by. All three had gorgeous long hair, tailored suits—no doubt coming from a prestigious executive’s job. Their hair blew back, billowing outward behind them when they walked, and Sai looked towards the door, wondering where the wind came from.

They sauntered by him, dressed in black slacks, made to hug their bodies perfectly, (Sai noticed their pants fit particularly well in the ass area) and sat down at a table to far left towards the back of the bar.

Sai’s eyes wondered over one of the men, who had long dark brown hair, pale eyes, while he shrugged off his long cream-colored coat, revealing a light blue shirt underneath, and laid it across the back of the chair, loosening the black and gray tie from its knot.

He glanced to the right, his focus shifting to a salmon-colored shirt with a black and blue striped tie. Sai’s eyes lifted upwards, settling on long white hair, loosely falling over broad shoulders and inquisitive green eyes.

The two were hot, without doubt, but the man sitting between them… hot didn’t cover it Sai’s opinion. He found himself very partial the dark burgundy shirt and black tie—which now flopped loosely over the man’s shoulders—that revealed themselves while long fingers unzipped the black leather jacket. Long, dark hair fell over his shoulders and dark eyes scanned the bar, almost as if searching for a familiar face.

He couldn’t blame people for stopping and staring. They all looked like they just walked out of a Spurr’s clothing ad, and he felt severely undressed in his dark-blue jeans, black t-shirt and boots—though compared to Naruto’s ripped stone-washed jeans, sandals, and orange t-shirt, Sai couldn’t complain about his own choice of dress.

Sai watched a waitress walk over to the table and saw the men conversing with her, most likely to order their drinks. He carefully watched them interact, noticing that the group seemed familiar enough with each other that they were probably friends and not just co-workers.

He stared for a few more minutes, ignoring Naruto’s constant chatter. Sai enjoyed people watching, and he couldn’t think of a better way to tune Naruto out than this. He really didn’t want to hear about all the hot chicks in the bar. Not that he couldn’t appreciate a pretty woman when he saw one, but women weren’t Sai’s thing—they never had been.

The man looked a little familiar, but Sai couldn’t place why and felt certain they had never met. Whoever the man was, Sai found himself attracted to him because of his calm composer. The man seemed relaxed and at ease, but wasn’t talking much. Sai noticed he just seemed to sit there, listening to his friends, who both seemed engaged in conversation with each other, hands and arms occasionally waving around to articulate whatever they were saying. His curiosity grew with each second that passed, wanting to know and see more.

Sai ignored the urge to cough from the cigarette smoke floating through the bar and poked Naruto. Sai pointed across the crowded bar room at the small table where the three men were sitting. “Who’s that over there?”

“Who, what?” Naruto looked over at him, trying to follow his line of sight. His face lit up in surprise when he found the targets, mouth taking on a rounded shape that reminded Sai of how Naruto would look blowing someone. “Oh… no, no, no… forget about them, Sai.”

“Why? And I’m only talking about one. The other two look good, but I don’t care about them. Besides, they seem too invested in each other already.” Sai scowled, irritated that Naruto had already concocted a plan to cock-block him. He starred at the men for a few more minutes, figuring out his game plan. He had a feeling he would need one.

“Sai, that’s Sasuke’s brother Itachi.” Naruto leaned in close to him and whispered in his ear. “He’d freak out if you tried to pick up Itachi. You know how he feels about you.”

All the more reason for him to try.

Sai knew Naruto must be really drunk because that logic failed. And he didn’t get why Sasuke didn’t like him anyway. Ever since he decided to make Sasuke a painting that featured him sitting in the corner with a rain cloud over his head, he barely said two words to Sai. It probably didn’t help that Sai titled the painting, Little Miss. Doom and Gloom. He even put the thought into it to give Sasuke a skirt.

And most people thought he didn’t have a sense of humor.

“So, what do you think bitchy pants would say if I did?” He knew where this conversation would go, but he couldn’t help himself. “Don’t see why he doesn’t like me, anyway.”

“Well, for one, maybe if you’d stop calling Sasuke names like that, he wouldn’t hate you with a passion.” Naruto’s arms flailed a bit while his blond hair bounced up and down a little from the movement in an absurd manner.

Sai thought he looked quite comical and considered mentioning that if he used a little bit of hair gel once in a while, his hair wouldn’t be all over the place but knew it would be futile. “Not my fault he has no sense of humor. He reminds me of a dead man walking… or a robot.”

“Dead man…” Naruto looked at him. “You know what… never mind, don’t want to know what weird shit you’re thinking right now.”

“The only thing I’m thinking about right now is how to get into his brother’s pants.” Sai smiled that polite smile of his that some people found unsettling and that people who knew him understood it only meant one thing. He was up to no good and all hell would soon break loose. “I bet he’s a really good fuck too.”

“No! Don’t even think about. Seriously, Sasuke will have your balls for it.” Naruto fixed him a serious glare that only made Sai even more determined to chase after his new prey.

“He’s not the boss of me. I’ll fuck whomever I want.” And he needed a good lay too to wipe away the horrid fact that he just turned twenty-five. His twenties were half over, and Sai did not enjoy that thought at all.

“Sai… you promised to stop terrorizing Sasuke.” Naruto grabbed his shoulders and shook him a little. “I’ll get the phone call if you don’t stop… the phone call, Sai!”

“I promised not to terrorize him while he was around. I don’t see him anywhere, do you?” Sai’s eyes never strayed from watching Itachi. And the thought of Naruto getting “the phone call” from Sasuke equally amused him, knowing the call would most likely consist of Sasuke in a never-ending tirade about Sai’s hellish existence. He’d just consider it payback from last week when Naruto laced his drink with laxatives, and he spent the entire night in the men’s restroom, gripping the sides of the stall, afraid to move an inch, and cursing Naruto’s birth. “If you see him come in, then you can bitch at me.”

Naruto wagged a finger at him (and Sai resisted the urge to bite it off out of spite). “Hey, don’t forget a bunch of the guys are meeting us in an hour so Sasuke might be here.”

Oh good, maybe bitchy pants would introduce him to Itachi. He wanted to be sucking Itachi’s dick by the end of the night, but he’d settle for an introduction at the very least. And for the look of distaste Sasuke would surely have on his face.

“Sai, stop calling Sasuke that.”

Shit, he didn’t realize he said anything out loud. Sai turned away from Naruto and back to Itachi. The man’s mannerisms appeared calculated and very precise. His eyes moved back and forth to his friends, or whoever the two men sitting with him were, but one thing Sai noticed about Itachi: he didn’t talk much. Sure, a pleased smile, sometimes a smirk, would appear on his beautiful face, but Sai hadn’t noticed him saying much of anything. Just listening, Itachi appeared to be a listener, not a talker from what he could see. And he knew that Itachi probably didn’t miss much. A watcher and a listener. Those were often the best lays around and the most vocal too once alone with them.

But first, he had to get rid of Naruto…

“Hey, Naruto, did you notice those hot girls over there?” He needed Naruto distracted so he could make his move.

“Hey, don’t try to distract me…” But Naruto still followed where Sai motioned to the other side of the club, far away from Itachi’s group. “Oh… wow, hey, I’ma head over there for a bit.” Naruto turned around and pointed at him dramatically. “And behave yourself. No trying to get into Itachi’s pants… it probably wouldn’t work out for you anyway. And Sasuke’ll just kick your ass for it, believe it!”

If Sai hadn’t been busy plotting, Naruto’s comment might have offended him or worried him… or at least caused him to raise an eyebrow at the thought of Sasuke trying to kick his ass—he felt confident he could take on Sasuke—however, he wouldn’t let it detract him from his plan. Or the plan he wanted to make and would make soon enough. He didn’t know how he would manage to get over to Itachi’s table, but it by the end of the night, that’s where Sai planned to be sitting.

“Hey,” Sai motioned the bartender over to him. “Do you happen to know what that man over there, Itachi Uchiha, drinks?”

Sai figured the bartender had to know what Itachi drank since everyone seemed to know more about Itachi than he did.

The short brown-haired man pushed a greasy over-gelled piece of hair from his eyes. “Yeah, sure, that long-haired man over there… he always orders a Long Island.”

“I’d like to order one of those for him.” Sai pulled some money from his wallet. “Oh, and don’t tell him who bought him the drink, I want it to be a surprise.”

The bartender nodded to him and left to make Itachi’s drink. Now that his plan started, Sai had work to do.

~*~

“Here you go, sir.” The scantily clad woman set down another Long Island Ice Tea in front of him—the forth one tonight.

“Are you going to tell me who sent it this time?” Itachi smirked when an uncomfortable look plagued the woman’s face. Who knew what her answer would be, and he knew—or at least though he knew—who had sent the Long Islands to him. But he enjoyed messing with the petite blonde-haired woman who had the unfortunate circumstance of serving him.

“I-I’m sorry, I can’t say.” She blushed, embarrassment covering her face be fleeing back towards the bar.

Itachi chuckled. While the woman seemed nice, she also seemed about as useless as tits on a boar. He already knew the answer anyway.

He knew Naruto’s friend had taken to watching him most of the night, and he discovered enjoyment in watching back—the way those dark, inquisitive eyes followed his every move or the way Sai’s short black hair would move slightly whenever he turned his head. Itachi wondered if the hair felt. It looked soft, shining underneath the dimmed lights.

At first, it annoyed him, then, he found the dark-haired man intriguing. He remembered Naruto and Sasuke talking about Naruto’s friend named Sai. Itachi remembered hearing about Sai because of Sasuke’s incessant bitching about how much of an asshole Sai could be. And he also seen Sai’s picture since Naruto always insisted on flashing pictures around of his friends and their nights out on the town… complete with a long fucking story to go with each and every picture. And he always made sure to post them on online, without setting any of them to private.

And he knew Sai kept watching him for the past hour. It amused him for some reason. Normally, he felt irritated when people ogled him, but knowing that Sai found him interesting enough to buy him drinks and keep and eye on him made him feel a certain amount of warmth inside. He looked at Neji and Kimimaro, realizing he had lost track of their conversation a while ago. Last he remembered they were comparing hair care products—then Itachi’s eyes glazed over and he just zoned out and went to his happy place, hoping for a change in topic.

It felt nice to have someone six years his junior interested in him. He felt too old for this—going out and trying to pick up dates, the drinking… the headache and hangover the next day. His body didn’t bounce back quite like it used to and even though Itachi would never admit it to anyone else, it bothered him that he had reached his thirties and went home every night to an empty bed.

“Excuse me for a moment.” He stood up and made his way towards the back of the bar where the restrooms where. He always had to piss a lot more when he drank like his body had decided to keep him in a permanent state of sobriety.

Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Sai stand up and follow him. Itachi smirked, while continuing his trek to the bathroom. This should prove interesting.

~*~

Sai saw his chance when Itachi stood up. He knew the restroom would normally seem like an awkward place to talk to someone, but he didn’t know what else to do. He couldn’t just go up and say hello to someone he didn’t know when that someone’s younger brother probably wished he would mysteriously explode one day. How would he even introduce himself?

‘Hello, my name is Sai… your little brother likes to call me Satan sometimes, wanna fuck?’

That didn’t seem like an impressive way to go about it. Not that he wanted to do anything too impressive—that would set the bar too high, and he believed in keeping things easy enough, but he also didn’t know how Itachi would take to finding out he sometimes made a game out of tormenting Sasuke—probably the easiest person he knew he could get a rise out of. It took little to no effort on his part. All he had to do was show up.

And Sasuke expected that from him. They both loved to hate each other. It had become a game to them, an unspoken pact of sorts—he’d continue to torment Sasuke, and Sasuke would bitch and moan about it, continuing their weird demented cycle of communication.

He really didn’t think Sasuke any right to care if he chased after Itachi. And he really didn’t care too much either way.

He slowly made his way towards the restrooms, careful to keep his distance. The thrill of what would happen next coursed through him. He didn’t have anything planned or know what he would say once he got back there, but it excited him that he had a chance. Itachi didn’t refuse the drinks he sent over, and he had sent enough that Itachi should be feeling damn good by now.

Perhaps Sai had a bit too much to drink since it didn’t seem to bother him that his plan to talk to Itachi would take place in a bar restroom, or that he also planned to sneak a peek at Itachi’s goods while he had the chance. If his plan fell through, he figured that at least he could go away with the knowledge that he saw Itachi’s dick. He felt certain that would make a great conversation starter when he saw Sasuke next.

He opened the door to the restroom and glanced to over at Itachi. Sai smiled, a slightly pleasant feeling bubbling up inside of him. Of course, he faced Itachi’s back at the moment, but it still excited him, thinking about sneaking a peek at Itachi’s cock. If he got at least that, he’d be pretty damn pleased with himself.

He walked up to the urinal next to Itachi and unzipped his pants. He looked over, noticing that Itachi cast him a sidelong glance. Sai smiled and nodded while pulling out his dick, his eyes briefly flicking downwards, catching a quick look at Itachi’s goods.

Ah, so Itachi was a grower, not a shower. He could live with that. He didn’t believe for a second Sasuke’s brother had a small dick. And being a grower himself knew that a flaccid penis wasn’t much to go on. But still, it looked straight and nice from what he could see in a couple seconds.

His eyes slid back up, only to notice Itachi’s eyebrow had risen a bit while watching him checking out his dick. Sai actually had the grace to blush a little before nodding his head. “Hello.”

Itachi’s lips turned up in a half smirk. “See something interesting?”

“Maybe, depends if I can get a closer look.” Sai shook his dick twice and zipped up his pants before washing his hands.

He glanced over and noticed Itachi doing the same thing. Good, he hated it when people didn’t wash their hands at the sink even after a piss. That meant Itachi probably had good hygiene and kept himself clean. Sai didn’t want to even think about having to train Itachi in anything. He had spent enough time these past few years getting on Naruto’s ass about the hand washing.

Sai pulled down and grabbed two paper towels, handing one to Itachi. “Here, you need one?”

He knew that would come out lame if he said it, but he honestly didn’t know what else to say while Itachi looked at him with assessing eyes like he were trying to figure Sai out.

“Itachi,” Itachi stuck his hand out for Sai. “And you are?”

Sai shook Itachi’s hand and smiled. “Sai.”

“So Sai, would you like to tell me why you’ve been watching me all night and buying me drinks?”

~*~

Sai smirked, watching Kimimaro and Neji argue about the difference between a purse and a man-purse, or “murse” for short. The purse—or murse, which Neji seemed hell-bent on insisting—looked like a black leather Prada bag with sequins. Sai recalled seeing it advertised in Cosmopolitan last week.

He glanced down while his fingers gently moved the felt-tip pen over the napkin. After the restroom “incident,” Itachi invited Sai to sit with him and his friends.

Of course, Sai had no intentions of refusing an offer like that. But he never expected to be sitting at the table and watching Itachi’s two friends bicker and argue over the most asinine topics. First he had the pleasure of catching the tale-end of them arguing over who used the better hair products. Then they moved on to bitching about who played a better game of tennis, which in Sai’s opinion seemed about as interesting as watching grass grow. After a few tiffs about places to shop or where to go for the best dinner, the two had oddly settled on fighting about whether Neji had a messenger bag or a purse.

Sure, they were both a little drunk but it had to be the worst case of unresolved sexual tension he had ever seen. He didn’t care if Neji claimed to like women; Sai didn’t believe it for a second. And the unavoidable amusement that came with watching two grown men act like queens. And over handbags—it couldn’t be any more Queenish than that.

“It’s not a damn purse, Kimi!” Sai watched Neji point to the bag hanging from the chair. “It’s a freakin messenger bag.”

“Pfft, yeah right. It’s too small and stylish to be a messenger bag.” Kimimaro laughed at Neji. “I mean, it has sequins on it, Neji.”

“It was a gift, dammit!” Neji threw his hands up like if he got more animated maybe Kimimaro would believe him.

“Wasn’t that the gag gift you got at last year’s Christmas party exchange?” Itachi inquired, his mouth tilting up a little while he tried not to laugh.

“See, even Itachi agrees… it’s a damn purse, admit it.” Kimimaro leaned back in his chair with a smug look on his face, knowing he had won the argument.

Even though the situation amused Sai greatly, he wanted to move things a long so he could get better acquainted with Itachi. He calmly set down his pen, smiled, and turned his napkin towards Neji and Kimimaro. The napkin had an astonishingly good likeness of Neji bending Kimimaro over the table; obviously, they were both fucking. The murse even made an appearance, slung across Neji’s shoulder in the picture with a few squiggly lines to show movement. “Perhaps, you both just need to get a room so you can discuss this further. I mean, while some people might consider this an intelligent argument, it just sounds like verbal foreplay to me.”

For the first time since Sai had sat down at Itachi’s table Neji and Kimimaro were speechless. Both of their faces turned three different shades of red at Sai’s comment, eyes wide like saucers, mouths dropped in either horror or surprise… Sai really couldn’t tell.

Itachi laughed. Sai grinned, proud that he managed to make such an elaborate drawing with the shitty tools he had to work with. And even prouder that he made Itachi laugh. Sasuke would undoubtedly shit a brick when he found out.

Kimimaro glanced at his cell phone and stood up. “Um, yeah, I need to go anyway. See you later, Itachi.”

Sai watched Kimimaro make a hasty exit towards the door while Neji watched him leave. Sai was pretty sure he caught Neji staring at Kimimaro’s ass.

“Yeah, I think I need to head on home too.” Neji quickly followed Kimimaro, leaving Itachi and Sai alone.

“Do you think they’re actually going to take my advice?” He glanced over at Itachi, who only looked back at him in mild surprise.

“It wouldn’t surprise me. Those two have had it bad for each other for a long time.”

They both sat in comfortable silence for a few minutes before Sai pushed his empty glass towards the middle of the table and nonchalantly shrugged his shoulders. “So, Itachi… wanna fool around?”

Itachi raised an eyebrow while his lips tilted up into a slow smirk. Sai’s night just got all the more interesting.

 

~*~

Sai’s breath came out in sharp gasps while Itachi’s hands slid down his pants and up his shirt. He briefly thought about how they probably should have left the bar instead of settling for him sitting on Itachi’s lap, but he couldn’t find it in himself to care too much. Itachi’s hands felt too good on his body for him to stop so they could move somewhere else.

He tightly gripped the collar on Itachi’s shirt with one hand, while sneaking the other down the hem of Itachi’s pants. He had been right earlier. Itachi’s dick definitely felt like a decent size. He moved his hand back up and began to unzip Itachi’s pants. A warm hand grabbed onto his own, and Sai looked up into Itachi’s eyes.

“Do you always do this with people you just meet?”

“No, just thought this would help you relax.” He slipped a couple fingers inside the open part of Itachi’s slacks. “And, besides, I can’t imagine that Sasuke’s older brother would be some dirty psycho.”

Sai smirked when Itachi opened his mouth to say something only to close it once more. He wanted, more than anything, to drop down on his knees, wrap his lips around Itachi’s dick, and make him scream. That would be worth the nasty hangover he surely would have tomorrow morning from drinking all night and the bitching he would catch from Naruto. And he felt he could maybe sneak underneath the table without anyone noticing he disappeared. With that many people packed inside the bar, who were doing their own thing, surely wouldn’t notice he suddenly vanished.

Sai moved down, almost bumping his head on the edge of the table. Itachi helped guide him so that he fit, almost uncomfortably, under the table. He glanced up at Itachi, feeling the legs of the table digging into his back but ignored the slight jabbing pain, the table covering just long enough to sufficiently hide him.

He moved his head up, only to have his nose smack against the tip of Itachi’s dick. Sai ran his hand down the long, pale shaft, noting the color was just a shade or two darker than Itachi’s skin tone. He enjoyed the slight thickness and straightness of it, and imagined that it would feel fucking wondering buried deep inside of him.

Sai smiled, right where he wanted to be. He wasted no time taking the tip into his mouth, making sure to move his tongue along the smooth skin so he could taste more of Itachi’s delectable cock. His fingers fondled Itachi’s ball sac, feeling the rough texture of the skin there, and he felt Itachi’s legs shake and part a little bit to give him more room to maneuver.

He looked up when a flash of light caught his attention. Itachi had moved part of the table covering to watch him—and the look in his eyes, pure lust that made Sai grab onto Itachi’s knees and move his mouth further down while watching Itachi watch him. If Itachi wanted a show, then that’s exactly what Sai would give him.

He moaned when the image of Itachi thrusting his hips forward and fucking his mouth came to mind… Sai decided he would have to work on Itachi’s polite behavior. Or get his so riled up that it flew out the window. His thoughts were distracted when a voice cut through.

“Itachi, what are you doing?”

Sai heard a voice above him before the tablecloth suddenly dropped down, covering his view of Itachi’s face. He recognized Sasuke’s voice immediately but had no intentions of moving. Not that he could have anyway. Itachi’s legs immediately wrapped around his waist, holding him there.

“Sitting here, enjoying my drink.” Sai heard Itachi reply somewhat calmly, though his voice did sound a bit strained.

“Why are you acting strange, Itachi?” Sai could hear the suspiciousness in Sasuke’s voice. He’d recognize that tone anywhere.

He briefly wondered what Sasuke would do if he suddenly popped out from underneath the table, declaring, “here I am,” but decided it wouldn’t be worth prying his mouth away from Itachi. Or the possible fallout from it. But he felt certain Sasuke would probably squawk like a chicken and try to strangle him if he did.

“But your glass is empty? And you look like you have a stick up your ass.” Sai heard Naruto’s voice chime in. Of course, Naruto would have to say something to get Sasuke suspicious. He just wanted to fucking gag Naruto to shut him up. “Oh, have you seen a man with short dark hair, wearing leather pants and a cut-of shirt walking around anywhere?”

Sai paused for a moment, unsure of what Itachi would say. Not that he minded getting caught per say, but he really didn’t want to hear Naruto bitch and whine about him blowing Itachi for the next few weeks.

“No, haven’t seen anyone around who looked like that.” Sai’s tongue ran along Itachi’s shaft while sucking a bit harder, causing and unusual strain in Itachi’s voice.

“You sure, cause that kind of looks like Sai’s jacket on the chair.” Naruto’s voice took on a disbelieving tone.

“Positive. That’s Kimi’s jacket, must have one looks like your friend’s.” Itachi shifted in his seat.

“Eh, Itachi… are you sure you’re okay?” Sasuke asked.

“I’m fine, Sasuke, just want to be left alone if you don’t mind.” Itachi’s voice cracked a little, and his right leg spasmed next to Sai.

“Um… did you just squeak a little?” Naruto piped in.

“God, I’m fine, just go away already.” Sai could tell he was trying to concentrate on his conversation with Naruto.

He heard Naruto mumble something to Sasuke, footsteps, and then silence. He sucked harder, massaging Itachi’s perineum. It didn’t take long for him to feel Itachi’s body stiffen and his legs shake a little and warm cum filled his mouth. He swallowed quickly, making sure not to get any on his mouth or his clothes. Sai opened his eyes when a patch of light flittered across them again.

“They’re gone. Hurry up and get out from under there before they come back.” Itachi tugged him upwards, not bothering to zip up his pants.

Sai lifted his head out from under the table and carefully slid back into his seat. “We should probably go. They’ll probably come back looking for me.”

“Agreed.” Itachi stood up and held out his hand. “Don’t forget your coat.”

Sai took his jacket and quickly pushed through a horde of people in the bar, Itachi closely behind him. He could have sworn he heard Sasuke yell, “What the hell is Sai doing with Itachi?”

 

~*~

A blast of chilly night air hit Sai when they stepped out of the bar. Stars and a half moon shown brightly in the sky, and a few cars drove by, horns honking from some excited drunks’ inability to filter their excitement. But other than that, relative quiet filled the night.

Itachi pulled Sai from the sidewalk and pressed him against the wall, leaning in and kissing him. “So, my place or yours?”

“It doesn’t matter so long as I don’t have to leave in the middle of the night or get up at the ass-crack of dawn.” Sai leaned back against the wall. “Leaving at the ass-crack of dawn is hell on my body now.”

Itachi smiled. “That seems like a poor excuse for someone your age.”

“My age… oh right, I forgot, you’re old… as dirt.” Sai’s lips tilted up in a playful smirk. “Dust and bones, maybe? Old geezer who’s been around since the dinosaurs roamed the earth?”

“I see how it is…” Itachi chuckled, not bothered a bit by Sai’s odd sense of humor. “Just remember that this old man is about to fuck you into next week if you keep it up.”

Sai pulled Itachi against him, leaning up slightly into Itachi’s chest, a playful smile on his lips. “I look forward to it.”

“Definitely going to bend you over and screw the sassiness right out of you.” Itachi pulled Sai away from the wall and towards the parking lot. “My place it is then. Come on, my car’s this way.”

“All the more reason to keep it up, ancient one.” Sai felt his dick twitch at that thought and allowed Itachi to lead him to the car. He couldn’t wait to get to Itachi’s place.

**Author's Note:**

> Another oldish fic I'm reposting from y!Gal ^^
> 
> I miss writing crack. I should do it more often.


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